I'm in my second year of law school. I passed from 1st year to the second but it was a surprise, as I completely failed my first year. But since I started studies again this year, it's like all my life depends on whether I work hard or not enough, if I work fast or too slowly.
I'm never in the mood for meeting new people, even if I feel a bit lonely at university because I don't have a lot of friends. I really don't want to make efforts for meeting new people, I feel like my studies are a too big deal with too many difficulties to add this other difficulty in my life.
I really like law but I think I will never get a proper job, because I'm not that kind of people who dare to struggle for their goals. I lack confidence and I feel like when I'll get my law diploma, nothing's going to be right and I'll end up being a housewife, as my boyfriend will certainly get a good job (he's also in law school, but in his 4th year).
Everyday I study, but I can't work all day because at a certain point I just can't concentrate anymore. Then I worry a lot and all I can think in my head is "you're spoiling the chance you had when they let you pass the first year".
I think I just need to have some holidays, as I thought before knowing I was going to second year that this would be a cool year because I would just have to learn things I already know. And this year has more "serious" classes. Well, it's very different and more complicated. I wasn't prepared for that. But I really want to have good marks and go to 3rd year next year. I'm just 18 and I feel I had the chance to be where I am now and now I have to work hard to reach my goals. But it's difficult to work hard. And I feel alone during the day.
Source URL: https://viewhue.com/law-failure-loneliness-future/16t